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FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN

 
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tenri
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Joined: 15 Sep 2003
Posts: 939
Location: Chicago IL

PostPosted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 7:51 pm    Post subject: FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN

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1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

FINAL Thought for the day:

Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
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Phinneas
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Joined: 13 Oct 2003
Posts: 2153
Location: Detroit, MI (Home of Superbowl XL)

PostPosted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 9:59 pm    Post subject: Re: FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN

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tenri wrote:
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.



ROFLMAO!
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Lovelyeye
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Joined: 15 Jun 2004
Posts: 312
Location: Land far far away

PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 2:26 pm    Post subject:

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1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.




Umm depends night? ewwwwwwwww
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place. ~ Mark Twain~

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Shiloch Veneficus
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Joined: 06 Dec 2001
Posts: 1946
Location: All My Base Are Belong to You

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 12:47 pm    Post subject:

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Quote:
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.


I know someone who's wife works at Petsmart, and she's a pretty big woman. One day, an 8-year-old was in the line with his mother. They got to the checkout, and the mother was just grabbing the last bag to put in her cart when her kid said to the mother, "Hey mommy, she's got a baby in her belly!" The mother snatched the last bag and told the kid, "Come on, let's go" running out of the store.

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Sorgaine
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Joined: 05 Jun 2002
Posts: 1750
Location: Greeley, CO

PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:46 pm    Post subject:

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13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)


How true this is! I am so embarassed to be sitting with somebody that is rude to the waitstaff. Do they not realize that they make $2.13/hr and your $2 contribution isn't worth taking harassment? hehe.
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Jenny
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Joined: 23 Mar 2004
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:48 pm    Post subject:

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Maybe I is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.
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Rufuss
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Joined: 17 Aug 2003
Posts: 237
Location: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Tue Aug 31, 2004 11:22 pm    Post subject:

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Quote:
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)


How true this is! I am so embarassed to be sitting with somebody that is rude to the waitstaff. Do they not realize that they make $2.13/hr and your $2 contribution isn't worth taking harassment? hehe.


$2, that's a big tip. So that's the full 10% for a $20 meal.
and $2.13? Damn that's low. Here they make 4.50 at the lowest. Most people here leave 5% if the waitress/waiter is nice and good, 10% if they being really nice.
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BonlainyT
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Joined: 08 Jan 2003
Posts: 3942

PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 11:10 am    Post subject:

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Holy crap Rufuss. I leave 20% to 25% for good service, 15% for ok service and 10 or less for bad service. But I am never rude to the waiter person, short in some of my remarks maybe but not rude. Being rude to your server can get you some nasty stuff in your water and/or food, something I find totally reprehensible but it happens.
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tenri
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Joined: 15 Sep 2003
Posts: 939
Location: Chicago IL

PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 4:55 pm    Post subject:

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Damn i tip at lest 20%
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Jenny
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Joined: 23 Mar 2004
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 4:55 pm    Post subject:

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Colloquial expression. That's good information: tenri said it tip at lest 20%.
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ZigonZagoff
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Joined: 01 Apr 2003
Posts: 1262
Location: Phoenix, Arizona, USA

PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 5:30 pm    Post subject:

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9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.


I could explain this if you like. Its very easy to understand and its relevance today is minimal.
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