The Turmoil of Self

Talvarien · Member Joined: 04 Feb 2003 Posts: 609

How does one even come close to describing the end of a journey when the experience is still so vibrant, the characters so alive and the reality so deeply ingrained into the soul?

How does one say, “goodbye,” to friends and a way of life that have been a constant for more than three years, and yet at the same time try to find the strength to seek welcome in a new family with a completely different approach to what has always felt so right?

Who ever thought a game could lead us to such soul-searching, and soul-rending, decisions?

There is no easy way to say it: I am leaving Walkers. Sad

This is a decision that has been burning my heart and mind for several months now. As more and more of the people I have grown with in this game depart, I find myself finding fewer reasons to experience this world, other than the friendship I have with so many of you.

Nobody is to blame for this, nobody has pushed me to this, and no policy has forced my hand in this.

The final reason is simple—friendships aren’t bound by guild tags—and with EQ2 and WOW on the foreseeable horizon, I want to get as close to EQ’s end-game as I can. I love my home and the people I’ve known, and I am proud of what we’ve accomplished doing things our way, but I feel as if I’m running out of time, and I must trudge on before I finally depart from Norrath forever.

I know many of you have strong opinions concerning people using Walkers as a stepping stone, but that was never my intention, nor is it how I played. I helped Walkers with almost all of its “firsts” in Planes of Power, and have attended more raids and epic hits than most, contributing to back-flags over and over again to help my brothers and sisters.

Hopefully, this doesn’t turn out to be the biggest mistake of my gaming life. Several weeks from now may find me crawling back, begging to be allowed into your fold once again. I only hope that those of you I currently call, “friend,” still see me as that no matter what tag I wear.

I spoke with Bonlainy recently, as well as a few others of you, and received only friendship and support. My heart and home will always be Walkers. You are by no means less of a guild, and my decision to leave isn’t based on any problem you have. Quite the opposite—you all actually have known what’s most important all along, which is why our reputation has always been beyond reproach, and our people some of the best on the server. This decision is purely about my own need to accelerate toward what I see as my EQ finish line.

As an especially sad note to Nizzre: I am sorry. Just 3 or 4 weeks ago I discussed this with you, and assured you I wasn’t leaving. Unfortunately, my feelings and attitude changed toward my future, and what started as rumblings that I shared with you grew into a full-blown call-to-action for me.

I look forward to hearing from you all as we continue our journey through Norrath. Please don’t ever be strangers. Your support will mean more to me than you can imagine. Your criticism will hurt more than you will believe.

/salute

Bill Engelhart
AKA: Talvarien Shadowblade
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PH@T L3WTS

Jorlana · Member Joined: 24 Jul 2003 Posts: 820

I'll miss you pinkie, I hate to see you go Sad

Good luck in whatever lies ahead of you and damnit, keep in touch!
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Daneloire · Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2004 1:19 pm Post subject:

Tal,

I'm sorry to see you go, you're one of the founding (albeit badly-colored) bastions of Walkers in my mind. You will be missed sorely.

On another note, anyone who thinks you've used Walkers as a stepping-stone has got to be even more shortsighted than I can imagine.

Keep in touch, amigo. I wish you the best of luck hitting the end-game content, and finding what you enjoy most.

-Dane

Steamyreturns · Member Joined: 24 Jan 2003 Posts: 391

You will be missed for sure Tal! Don't feel bad, your reasons are just and I hope you get to see all the things you're looking for. Take care.

BonlainyT · Member Joined: 08 Jan 2003 Posts: 3942

Well, at least my eyes will be able to adjust to normal lighting now. Twisted Evil

You have been a great addition to Walkers my friend, and you will remain my friend no matter what, I only wish you the best and want you to have fun and enjoy the game.

I seriously doubt anyone thinks you used Walkers as a stepping stone, you were one of the ones who ALWAYS heeded the call to arms, you were there for this guild always, and that means everything. You will always be a Walker to me and I will be selfish and hope to see your "wish to return" post ni 6 weeks.

Enjoy yourself Bill and be ready for me to tell you to come join us when you are bored.

Ken
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Xecutioner Smith(retired) Dread Lord of Walkers
Bonlainy Trueheart(retired) Lord Protector of Walkers

brelenie1 · Member Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Posts: 425

Good luck in all your future adventures Talv.

You will be missed. Sad

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Sanebla Eaglestriker · Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2004 2:27 pm Post subject:

I know exactly how you're feeling hun and it's a tough step to take and I know this isn't taken lightly.

Have fun and I'm sure I'll see you in game. Maybe we can raid in Time together someday Smile

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soto01 · Member Joined: 30 Jun 2003 Posts: 646

Talv you are nothing but a class act sir. No one in their right mind would ever think you used Walkers as a stepping stone. You have done so much, and shared so much with this guild, it does nothing but make me very proud to have shared a guildtag with you.

Now go kick some ass in Time and share in new adventures and experiences, but please don't be a stranger.

/salute
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Whizbang Dustyboots · Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2004 3:39 pm Post subject:

It was great being guilded with you. Let me know if you'd like a virtual recommendation letter for use in your search for a new home.
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Roladoc · Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2004 3:43 pm Post subject:

May your journeys be what you wish them to be. Good luck and thank you for the time you have given us. Come back when we need a guide when we take our first steps into the elementals and eventually time.
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Roladoc
http://www.magelo.com/eq_view_profile.html?num=463851

Jakhamma · Member Joined: 13 Oct 2003 Posts: 290 Location: Nashua, NH

Take care Talv. It was good hunting with you when we did. Drop us a post once in awhile with tales of your adventures.

/salute
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Jakhamma DaSlamma

carmelle · Member Joined: 08 Nov 2003 Posts: 378

Good luck on your future endeavers Talv. I wish you the upmost in happiness and all in-game and in RL.
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Annir Vazaelle · Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2004 5:11 pm Post subject:

Tal - we've known each other a long time. It doesn't seem like it until I think about when I met you and realize how far back that goes. I have no issues with what you are doing, wish you the best, and hope you won't be shy about talking with your buds.

Take care man, in game and out.
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Annir Thunderfoot - Chaotic Druid of Savage Doom
Zzane Oreolord - Have Tail, Will Travel

Elyhim · Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2004 5:35 pm Post subject:

Talv i was proud to share a guild with you. Good luck my friend.

i'll leave the light on.

Sabrar · Member Joined: 11 Jun 2003 Posts: 408

You'll be missed, Tal. GL to you and I'm sure we'll run into each other again on the flip side.
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Duke Sabrar Mournblood
Dread Lord of Neriak and Scourge of Frogloks
<Walkers>

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