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Innocent Victim, a poem I wrote, feel free to leave comments

 
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xeroiv
Member


Joined: 06 Nov 2003
Posts: 20
Location: iowa

PostPosted: Mon Dec 15, 2003 9:52 pm    Post subject: Innocent Victim, a poem I wrote, feel free to leave comments

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Innocent Victim

Working all the time, getting no where,
Taking my fifth first step, yesterday,
I can’t see my future in my life,
I need an inspiration here, angel where are you,
I need a crutch down here, savior, I need saving today.

People supporting my every problem now,
No one seems to get, I can’t do this now,
Nobody seems to understand, I’m not wasting oxygen,
Why can’t you all see, your feeding me my shit, by silver spoon.
I’m lost inside myself, my faith locked in my heart, which is surrounded by thorns.

I feel like a bullet,
Slid down the shaft of a rifle,
Cocked and ready for fire, I spin round rapidly,
Some time, some day, I’ll stop randomly,
Pointing at some unsuspecting victim,

Anger rising within me, darkness closing in,
I’m scared, but you always said, “be brave, look at the good side.”
Well here I am today, embracing the darkness, embracing the good side,
You never even saw this coming, you never even look inside of me,
But today, I look in you, I see disappointment, heh, I can’t believe it, you’re still judging me now.

Curled up, inside, I’m sitting in a corner of my body, scared and cold,
I never wanted to be here, I never wanted to hurt you, but you put me here,
You forced me up against a wall, now I need self-defense,
You pushed me on and on and edged on and on, you lead me on and on until I broke in two…
Now I feel like my body has a hole, and I m wide open, for affliction.

I feel like a bullet,
Slid down the shaft of a rifle,
Cocked and ready for fire, I spin round rapidly,
Some time, some day, I’ll stop randomly,
Pointing at some unsuspecting victim,
the trigger will pull, ill unleash and kill an innocent victim...

And we went round and round,
We went everywhere but forward,
And here we stand, toe to toe, (toe to toe)
And here I am, facing myself once again,
Here I am, staring down the gun shaft,
I pulled the trigger, and shot an innocent,
Innocent victim…
_________________
"I once had a gray in me that created a great unwanted apathy,
You once had a red in you that caused you to have great sympathy for me,
I turned away, when I should have accepted, I backed away, wishing to go away,
I went away, I stayed away, for far to long, no coming back now, I guess,
I’ll just fade away…" Daggered Reality, by: me

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LaRue
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Joined: 07 Sep 2003
Posts: 354
Location: Down on Main street

PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2003 6:59 am    Post subject:

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Wow! Sounds like anger is being penned up until it's released upon someone (innocent victim) you don't intend to lash out at.

Have you been published?
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Larue

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stoneclaww
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Joined: 20 Aug 2003
Posts: 287

PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2003 9:23 am    Post subject:

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*Stoneclaww moves farther from Iowa to avoid friendly fire*


very nice writing btw. It's good to see that we have some other talents in the EQ community besides CR's and bazaar bargain shopping. Very Happy
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Stoneclaww click the link....feel the gimpness for yourself

Quote:
never come to a battle of wits with no ammunition

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BonlainyT
Member


Joined: 08 Jan 2003
Posts: 3942

PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2003 12:50 pm    Post subject:

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Wow, Xer. Pretty powerful.
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Xecutioner Smith(retired) Dread Lord of Walkers
Bonlainy Trueheart(retired) Lord Protector of Walkers

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IddinLunasglory
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Joined: 16 Oct 2002
Posts: 504
Location: Denver Co

PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2003 2:22 pm    Post subject:

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I like it Xer. /agree with Bonlainy, powerfull stuff

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Elyhim
Member


Joined: 11 Jun 2002
Posts: 1543
Location: Mars Hotel

PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2003 6:56 pm    Post subject:

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/passes to the left



Here, take this.

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xeroiv
Member


Joined: 06 Nov 2003
Posts: 20
Location: iowa

PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2003 8:06 pm    Post subject:

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thanks a lot guys, means much to me, im glad you enjoyed it, this was actually a test run, ill be posting more every so often, and yes im trying to get my own book deal
_________________
"I once had a gray in me that created a great unwanted apathy,
You once had a red in you that caused you to have great sympathy for me,
I turned away, when I should have accepted, I backed away, wishing to go away,
I went away, I stayed away, for far to long, no coming back now, I guess,
I’ll just fade away…" Daggered Reality, by: me

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Crymea
Officer


Joined: 04 Jun 2002
Posts: 1387
Location: DC

PostPosted: Thu Dec 18, 2003 2:37 am    Post subject:

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I did take interest in it, Xeriov, and I'm curious to the motivation behind the poem.
_________________
Crymea says, "No tail, no sale."
Tyranimus says, "Oh, shut up you lousy monk."

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