Stupid joke of the day, feel free to add your own!

Crymea · Officer Joined: 04 Jun 2002 Posts: 1387 Location: DC

That Darn Cat

There was this cat who loved to get drunk. One night, he went to the bar on the other side of the tracks, stayed all night long, and got so wasted he could barely stand up, much less walk.

The sun started to come out, and it was time to go, so the cat started to stumble on home. When the cat came to the train tracks, he didn't notice a train coming. As he started to cross the tracks, the train zoomed by, and cut off part of his tail. When the cat turned it's head to see the damage, his head got stuck into the side of a speeding box car, and he was instantly decapitated.

The moral of the story — don't lose your head over a piece of tail!
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Crymea says, "No tail, no sale."
Tyranimus says, "Oh, shut up you lousy monk."

Crymea · Officer Joined: 04 Jun 2002 Posts: 1387 Location: DC

Oh, I have to add one of the stupidest jokes I've ever heard that just makes me laugh every time I hear it.

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9!

(note, if you don't get it, say it out loud, and if you do get it, say it out loud!)
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Crymea says, "No tail, no sale."
Tyranimus says, "Oh, shut up you lousy monk."

Hahlador · Member Joined: 29 Jun 2006 Posts: 58 Location: Indiana

The Rooster...

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old timer, time for you to retire."

The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"

The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over.."

The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."

The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,

"Darn.....third gay rooster I bought this month."

Moral of this story? ...
Don't mess with us old Timers - age, skill, and
treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!
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Hahlador Fierceblade

Argo · Posted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 11:22 pm Post subject:

How true. watch out you young roosters.

Fiht · Member Joined: 23 Jun 2003 Posts: 202

Best short joke I know (aside from dwarves)........

........a baby seal walks into a club.......................

Fihty

Phinneas · Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 12:20 am Post subject:

What does a fish say when it swims into a wall???

DAMN!!!!!

haha
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Phinneas ~ Lord Protector ~ The Walkers of Vazaelle ~ My Magelo

Crymea · Officer Joined: 04 Jun 2002 Posts: 1387 Location: DC

Two guys walk into a bar... you'd think the second one would've ducked.
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Crymea says, "No tail, no sale."
Tyranimus says, "Oh, shut up you lousy monk."

Mildane · Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 7:33 pm Post subject:

Forest Loop
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- Epic stick figure -

Crymea · Officer Joined: 04 Jun 2002 Posts: 1387 Location: DC

Heh, I remember people drooling over those back in the day...

But anyways...

Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump over the barbed wire fence? It was an udder catastrophe!
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Crymea says, "No tail, no sale."
Tyranimus says, "Oh, shut up you lousy monk."

Brakiss · Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2006 2:10 pm Post subject:

Q: What do you call pickled bread?

A: Dill-dough Wink

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Adalric Brandl - Gimp of Innoruuk

Elyhim · Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 3:26 pm Post subject:

"Forest Loop"

haha

Tindirt · Officer Joined: 04 Dec 2003 Posts: 182

There are 4 guys playing golf, when one of them hits his ball into the woods. While he goes to look for it, the other 3 start talking. The 1st guy says " I hate to brag but my son is doing great. He builds houses & just gave his friend a $180,000 house for free." The 2nd guy says "Thats nothing my son builds swimming pools & gave his friend a brand new olympic size swimming pool for free." The 3rd guy says "Thats not bad but my son sells cars & just gave his friend a Ferrari at no charge." At this point the 4th guy walks up after finding his ball & his friends encourage him to join in bragging about his son. He says "I don't have anything to brag about but he just told me he's a homosexual. But he did get a new house, car & swimming pool for free." Rolling Eyes

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Dying is what I do best.

Brakiss · Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 4:50 pm Post subject:

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Adalric Brandl - Gimp of Innoruuk

Crymea · Officer Joined: 04 Jun 2002 Posts: 1387 Location: DC

I just love Halloween. There's nothing better than the expression on a child's face when they've just bitten into a caramel coated onion.
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Crymea says, "No tail, no sale."
Tyranimus says, "Oh, shut up you lousy monk."

Crymea · Officer Joined: 04 Jun 2002 Posts: 1387 Location: DC

How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: The first one to go to the public and say "The situation is under control. We have created a committee to research the problem, reviewed all documents and procedures involved in the matter, and contacted all the experts to assure that we have the quickest possible resolution. We are confident that all outstanding issues pertaining to this matter will be addressed in a timely manner..." and the second to screw it into a water faucet.
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Crymea says, "No tail, no sale."
Tyranimus says, "Oh, shut up you lousy monk."