Hospital Charts

[Wrahn]

Friend just sent me this, thought I would share:

Actual writings on hospital charts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband
states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left
side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the
third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She
also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began
seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male,
mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for
lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most
of her life, until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car
for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and
accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

[Daneloire]

Haha, funny stuff

-Dane

[Jenny]

I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
_________________

"Enough about me, let's talk about my dress."

[Phinneas]

hehe
_________________
Phinneas ~ Lord Protector ~ The Walkers of Vazaelle ~ My Magelo

[ZigonZagoff]

[Haggus]

Hey Ziggy....at least in the case of you good gnomies, it isn't that far to travel
_________________
Haggus McClan
'The Medicine Man'

http://www.magelo.com/eq_view_profile.html?num=830636

[Jenny]

That was a long time ago.
_________________

"Enough about me, let's talk about my dress."

[Shiloch Veneficus]

I'm left wondering if doctors never actually read each other's charts and this is just some kind of wild joke, or if we have doctors that come out of school thinking this is appropriate diagnostic, OR if someone just wrote this stuff down in a computer somewhere because he/she couldn't actually read what was on these hospital charts anyway.

Good stuff, I got a nice laugh out of it.

[Phinneas]

[Jenny]

Try asking me to make this a logical IF ELSE IF statement for me and write it in code more politely.
_________________

"Enough about me, let's talk about my dress."